Mercedes launches robot S Class - but divorces reality | Auto Expert John Cadogan

***CORRECTION @ 8:01 - should say: "three-and-a-half THOUSAND tonnes of thrust" D'oh... My bad. Sorry.

You probably saw Daimler’s claims this week about introducing Level Three autonomy by way of robot S Class. Let’s talk about that.

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Level Three is where the so-called ‘driver’ might as well be brain-dead - up to 60 kays an hour. Big, bad suppository says the lawyers are just working it out with the government and they’ll roll it out forthwith.

Apparently Level Three is gunna be unlocked on the new S-Class after the regulatory imprimatur in Germany, from Angela. And then they might hide these features in, lesser Mercs, behind a paywall. Like, swipe black Amex here if you want that unlocked, kinda thing. Maybe a monthly subscription. Because, avarice knows no bounds in the Daimler boardroom.

Let us not forget Daimler just promised failsafe autonomous cars up to 60 kays an hour, but can’t actually get a right-drive AWD Benz not to crab like the worst pre-production prototype ever, whenever you’re not going dead ahead.

I’m just saying that for technical perspective. They won’t even admit the cars do that, and when they do, they claim it’s not a defect, but rather an ‘operational characteristic’.

So: are these really the kinds of dudes you want putting robot cars out there on the roads, around us?

I was all set to pat them on the back here - like, well done. Level Three. Substantial technical achievement. Electric Jesus is gunna have a fit … so that’s nice.

But then, Ola Kallenius said:

“If we are successful with the legal framework for Level Three which we predict we will be, then [we will be] the first one to plant a flag on the moon in terms of doing Level Three.” - Ola Kallenius, boss of Daimler

Did he just compare Level Three autonomy to Apollo? I suppose just putting a flag on the moon is not that hard. But you have to get it there first. (It’s an intrinsic part of the activity.) And that is properly difficult. Getting a flag on the moon certainly puts Level Three autonomy in perspective.

So, to Ola Kallenius from Daimler I would say: This comparison is offensive to the greatest technical achievement in human history. I’m no snowflake. I don’t want him cancelled. I actually find it quite entertaining when these masters degree bigwigs throw their credibility under the bus by being so staggeringly out of touch with the facts.

Just pointing out it’s a completely crass comparison which is also divorced from reality. Let’s compare the two achievements, with a little beer-garden rocket science, shall we?